Sunday, May 29, 2011

Feelings.... and more feelings...

Somedays being a girl is really hard.  I have been overwhelmed with emotion the last couple days (and for any guys reading it is NOT that time of the month!) I think far too much, and fundraising only feeds the issue.  I feel guilty for asking people to take part, I feel worried about the people that do help, and after people help, I feel guilty and I worry that they don't feel appreciated.  The ones who are so kind, and care so much are those I know are giving sacrificially, thus the guilt I feel.  I struggle with flopping between these feelings and those of frustration.  Frustration that some spend there life pampering "me" and never truly get it.  They dont "get" that there is a world of people out there who need help. They cannot see that everything we have and every gift is given to us to share with others.  Our talents, our finances are not ours to spoil ourselves or to get glory for who we are or what we can do.  They are given to us so we can help those who are weeker.   If you are strong and confident, it isn't so you can be adorable and popular, it is given so you can help the one who feels worthless see there value... If you are good with money it isn't so you can get rich, it is so you can share that knowledge or ability and sometimes that wealth with those in need. If you are gift musically it is not so you can sit on a stage and receive applause, or sell songs.  It is so you can use the gift of music to sooth the weary soul, or point the broken heart to God.  It is given so you can pass on the gift to others who have the passion but not the natural ability, or maybe those who have the talent but not the opportunity to be taught.  I could go on and on.  How does this tie into adoption? The two are inseperable,  I have been blessed so that I can continue to bless a child who may never learn sign language or who may not have a parent to advicate for them, I have a (loud) voice so I can speak for those who cannot speak for themselves. I have been blessed to live in a country that values me and gives me freedom no matter my ability.  I have been loved therefor I can give love. I have be blessed to be born in a country, that through the sacrifice of others, gives me the freedom to worship God and teach others about His love.  All of this I have been given and more, so I can share... not for me, but so that others may know that there is a God who loves them.  I have been adopted and my ransom paid, so I must do all I can to do the same for others... God help me to live each day with this in my heart.