The Beginning (Originally posted on another blog, June 3,2010)

I am not sure exactly when my heart started to open to adoption.  I believe it has been a long time coming.  I sat through many sermons and heard countless stories, every one tugging at my heart.   I would be overwhelmed momentarily with a desire to do something.  This feeling grew each time I heard someones story, or read verses like James 1:27.  These little twinges grew into massive heart ache.  My heart hurts for every child who has no one to call Daddy and Mommy.  I believe God has so gently led my family to a place where now our heart cries for those who spend their days crying for love.  In the beginning all I could think was, "My kids are almost grown".  I thought of all the things I did not have, I saw all of my failures and imperfections.  The bottom line was, I was scared, scared to try and fail, scared to be judged.  As I walked through the pre-decision process I took my thoughts to my husband.  I shared all my fears with him.  He, like me, at first saw all the things we are not.  He saw the need, he understood the desire, and agreed it was a good thing.  The issue was... was it for us? Were we called?  Somewhere along the way, something clicked in us.  We realized through studying Gods word, through seeking out verses about the orphan, or caring for others, that adoption clearly lined up with Gods heart.  His word tells us over and over again to care for the orphan and the widow and the alien... I am new to blogging but will try to add a list soon of all the scriptures we have found pertaining to adoption, or the care of those who are helpless.  We truly believe after reading all those verses, that we don't even need to ask, "Is this Gods will for us?".  I only need to ask myself "Will I say yes?".  I have never done anything in my life that feesl more right.  I have never found a cause I believe is closer to Gods heart.  I don't know what this journey holds for us.  I have no idea how it will end but we have chosen to say yes.  I have a renewed faith that says, that in saying yes, God will walk thought this with us.  We have begun our homestudy and I will tell you more about the child we are looking for in my next blog.  There is so much story to tell, so much history to share with you.  For now I will leave you with this challenge.  If you are reading these words, then God has called you to care for the orphan and the widow.  Here is what I ask;  We are like most families, we do not have a bank account overflowing with money.  We are stepping out on complete faith believing that God will help us meet each goal.  Trusting that through our families hard work and Gods favor and blessing that He will see us through to our miracle.  So I ask you to open your heart, allow yourself to think "Maybe there is something I can do".  Right now things seem very scary for us, but I am asking you to take a leap of faith with us.   Right now when it seems there are a million roadblocks ahead, a million huge mountains to climb, leap with us.  If you need to sit back and watch awhile, let God show you what a willing heart and childlike faith in God can do, then follow us a while.  This is His miracle, we are just lucky enough to get to be a part of it.