Wednesday, May 30, 2012

Awakening...again

Hello everyone, it has been along time since my last post.  I have been walking through some of the toughest and most amazing months of my life.  Ariana is beautiful and smart and funny and stubborn and strong willed and she fits into our family perfectly.  I have had moments where tears of joy flowed and some tears of frustration.  See this little princess has had 3 and a half years to set  patterns in her life, and I have only had 8 months to teach her she doesn't need her habits of comfort anymore.  We have had ups and downs, she will do really well for a while and then regress and try everything for a period.  We have made mistakes already and we have tried many things only for them to not work with her.  It isn't any easier than guiding a birth child through the terrible twos, and definitely not any harder than walking through the teen years with two stubborn kiddos. :) I guess what I am saying is, this is an amazing process, and adoption is beautiful and I believe so close to Gods heart, but it is not all rainbows and fairy dust.  It is however worth every single second. 

That said, we are doing so well, adjusting and learning and teaching, and surviving the long trail of doctors appointments.  I love watching Ariana with her family, seeing the love and kindness she gets from her big brother and sister, and I cant help but laugh as they fuss at each other.  I totally need to post a video of Ariana and Ashlyn going at it... Ashlyn has definitely met her match lol. All I can think about is how 8 months ago Ariana didn't even know her name let alone be able to tell someone off. So yes I enjoy her even when she is trying to boss the world, because it is beautiful to me that she is not living in silence anymore. This child was born to be heard, born to defend and love, and God knew it, so he gave her a home and a voice.... sigh, He is beautiful.

I had an awakening today.  As I responded to a post I realized that I had begun to allow circumstances to silence me.  I too have a (loud) voice and God placed in my heart a passion for these babies.  I have gotten weighed down by life and business and forgot that I have a job to do.  So forgive me as I stand up and dust myself off and do what I am suppose to.  I am going to do the best I can to give a voice to those who have no voice, I want to put there little faces and stories out there and make sure that they are heard, they are crying out for a mothers arms, and the protection of a father... they need us, and we need them.  So I pray that God help me and show me how I can do exactly that.  I am going to begin by speaking with my Pastor... (so Pastor Brian if you or Krista are reading this... get ready :) ) I want to share our story, and I need a bigger platform,  I want to take some steps to get orphans and adoption information out there. So pray for me, pray God give me the words to say and the wisdom to know when and how to say it.  Pray He show me open doors, and that my words will be His.  I don't want my passion to be what people hear, I want them to hear Gods heart. I want to be used to plant and water His seeds, because mine will shrivel and die, but His will blossom and grow.  So ya... just pray :)

Thanks for listening and for praying...

Kathy

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