Gotcha Day!

I will never forget the moment I saw you in person for the first time.  As you popped out of the van in your sweet little way and made your way through the crowd to wrap your arms around the leg of the Auntie that made you feel safest. No one had to point you out, I knew your face, I had studied it, prayed over it, I knew your dimples and the curves of your sweet cheeks.  Everything we had done, all the work, all the tears, all the struggle had lead us to this one moment.  I didnt know how it would play out, if I could hold you right away, or if you would fight it, but when I laid eyes on you, instinct took over, and I knew, a thousand soldies could not have kept me from sweeping you up, from wrapping you in my arms and loving you with all I have. Daddy and I love you, more than life itself.  We would walk this journey a thousand times over to get to you.  You are our princess. You are priceless, and you are ours.

This last year has been full of so many things,  we have had ups and downs, struggles, doctors visits and surgeries,we have had a million firsts but mostly we have had love, love that only multiplied over and over when you came to us.  You are our daughter, and it is as if the hand of God created you as a perfect match for us.  You are so much like us all.  You have no idea the lives you have touched, and how many more sweet babies will have homes because someone met you.  You are silly and funny and such a princess... you are stubborn and strong willed and oh so beautiful.  When you smile that full big beautiful dimply smile, the world is a happy beautiful place.  Thank you God for this blessing, for all of my children and how you have so wonderfully woven us all together.  Thank you for cousins and Aunts and Uncles and Grandparents.... family... thank you God for this crazy messy beautiful family!

My Babies

Shopping with Daddy

My babies went shopping with Dad for Mothers day and I got lonely so this is the pic he sent... love them so...

Awakening...again

Hello everyone, it has been along time since my last post.  I have been walking through some of the toughest and most amazing months of my life.  Ariana is beautiful and smart and funny and stubborn and strong willed and she fits into our family perfectly.  I have had moments where tears of joy flowed and some tears of frustration.  See this little princess has had 3 and a half years to set  patterns in her life, and I have only had 8 months to teach her she doesn't need her habits of comfort anymore.  We have had ups and downs, she will do really well for a while and then regress and try everything for a period.  We have made mistakes already and we have tried many things only for them to not work with her.  It isn't any easier than guiding a birth child through the terrible twos, and definitely not any harder than walking through the teen years with two stubborn kiddos. :) I guess what I am saying is, this is an amazing process, and adoption is beautiful and I believe so close to Gods heart, but it is not all rainbows and fairy dust.  It is however worth every single second. 

That said, we are doing so well, adjusting and learning and teaching, and surviving the long trail of doctors appointments.  I love watching Ariana with her family, seeing the love and kindness she gets from her big brother and sister, and I cant help but laugh as they fuss at each other.  I totally need to post a video of Ariana and Ashlyn going at it... Ashlyn has definitely met her match lol. All I can think about is how 8 months ago Ariana didn't even know her name let alone be able to tell someone off. So yes I enjoy her even when she is trying to boss the world, because it is beautiful to me that she is not living in silence anymore. This child was born to be heard, born to defend and love, and God knew it, so he gave her a home and a voice.... sigh, He is beautiful.

I had an awakening today.  As I responded to a post I realized that I had begun to allow circumstances to silence me.  I too have a (loud) voice and God placed in my heart a passion for these babies.  I have gotten weighed down by life and business and forgot that I have a job to do.  So forgive me as I stand up and dust myself off and do what I am suppose to.  I am going to do the best I can to give a voice to those who have no voice, I want to put there little faces and stories out there and make sure that they are heard, they are crying out for a mothers arms, and the protection of a father... they need us, and we need them.  So I pray that God help me and show me how I can do exactly that.  I am going to begin by speaking with my Pastor... (so Pastor Brian if you or Krista are reading this... get ready :) ) I want to share our story, and I need a bigger platform,  I want to take some steps to get orphans and adoption information out there. So pray for me, pray God give me the words to say and the wisdom to know when and how to say it.  Pray He show me open doors, and that my words will be His.  I don't want my passion to be what people hear, I want them to hear Gods heart. I want to be used to plant and water His seeds, because mine will shrivel and die, but His will blossom and grow.  So ya... just pray :)

Thanks for listening and for praying...

Kathy

One Month Gotcha Day

One month ago today I held this little princess for the first time.  She is doing so well, learning and growing and capturing the hearts of everyone she meets.  I cannot imagine our family without her.  Thank You father for leading us every step of this journey... so many more out there... I think I need a bigger house!

I love you Ariana Grace Ferguson!

I am nothing

Many people who hear our story respond with things like, "oh you are special people", and other words of praise for us,  but every time I hear those words I want to shout "No I am not special,  I just said yes"... that's all.  Yes to the command to do something to care for those who are outcasts, widows and orphans. I brought home a beautiful little girl,  who has blessed my life and my family.  She is the amazing one,  she survived for three and a half years with out being able to speak a word or understand the world around her.  She lived being moved from place to place, with people she came to know and trust disappearing and not even knowing why or where they went.  She is amazing and special, and there are millions more just like her. Many like her labeled special needs, many of them will never know what it means to be sheltered in Daddies arms or know the love of a mother.  They will never have know the love of Aunts and Uncles and Grandparents. You are not to old, or to poor or too busy, you are good enough, it doesn't matter if your kids are grown, or u have 3 or 10 at home, you can DO SOMETHING. Everyone on facebook this month is posting all they are thankful for, and it is beautiful.  I don't want to belittle it.  I just want us to step outside of or own selfish worlds, stop counting our own blessings and share them with someone who needs them way more than we do.  Why store up and count the love of a family?, you have a wonderful family?  Share it with a child a widow, an outcast.  Open your heart and your home and your life, not for a day or a week, or a month but for the rest of your life.  This month is not only Thanksgiving, but National Adoption Month, and Sunday was Orphan Sunday, but many people didn't know.  They walked through their day never thinking of those who need their love so desperately.  We all do it, we get caught up in our lives until God sends something our way to awaken us.  Sometimes we stay awake, and sometimes we go back to sleep dreaming about our own blessings.  God keep us awake,  let the faces of those who need your love flash before us so many times a day we cannot forget.  God I pray for everyone who reads this blog, or knows someone who reads this blog, that you light a fire in there hearts, show us what we can do.  Your love was never meant to be bottled and inventoried.  We are to be open vessels overflowing with your love to all around us. Show us what we can do, today and everyday.

Love you all....
Kathy

Getting to know you

I am so enjoying getting to know this little girl, she is priceless.  She has a very sweet tender spirit one minute, and then she morphs into a wild child, running a giggling and playing.  She is so very smart, I believe she had a lot of people fooled and probably got away with a lot because they didn't think she understood.  She is so aware of what is going on around her, she survived for the last 3 and 1/2 years without ever being able to speak (or sign) a word.  She has grabbed hold of language and is absorbing it so fast, I honestly cannot count all the words she knows now.  The first couple of weeks she only signed a few words, it was like she was absorbing it all,  then she began signing, and being expected to sign words for things she wanted or just to identify things in her world.  I love her so much, she has bonded so well with the family,  she had favorites at different times but seems to have decided she loves everyone.  She is sassy and strong willed and oh so beautiful.  I cannot image our family without her.  Destin and I were talking about her yesterday and we can see how God made her to perfectly fit in our family.  She has qualities that make her so much like all of us.  She is amazing.

There have been a few challenges,  she likes to decide she isn't going to listen to us, and she will turn away,  she has tried being rude to her siblings,  even Mom and Dad while in China :).  She doesn't like nap time,  she gets very mad.  I guess maybe she feels she will miss something.  I have had a hard time disciplining her,  she had her first major meltdown in China when told no,  and I have cried many times when I had to be firm with her,  she would get this look on her face, and I felt so mean. That is all slowly changing,  she has come to accept the word no more easily, and I have come to grips with the fact that my emotion came out of fear that she would reject me if I had to discipline.  She has actually gotten even closer to us when we are consistent.  I am a firm believer that even though they don't like it at the time, nor do we, children need consistency and discipline (when done in love, and a heart to teach them to be and do better).  I am looking forward to her first Thanksgiving and her first Christmas, and all the wonder it brings.  We were in Hobby Lobby the other day and they have an Ariana size nativity,  she was in awe, she wanted to climb ing\ the stable and touch all the animals.  We got as close as we could as I told her who they all were.  My heart ached as I longed to help her know who that baby was and what He gave for her.  I long for the day that she understands the words I am speaking enough that she can truly hear the story of His birth and why he came.  For now we settle with teaching her the words baby Jesus and Mary and Joseph and all the animals. 

All I can say is thank you God for this blessing,  and for all of my children... you amaze me everyday, as I watch them interact, you knew all along, through all my questions, all my fears and impatience, that this was the child and this was the time.  Thank you for walking before us,  help me to live everyday knowing that each of them is a precious priceless gift from you.